You’re Not Getting a Christmas Post

The time of the year, it fast is approaching
I hope you don’t mind – hope I’m not encroaching

But this year I can’t do, for reasons well known
I cannot compose a Christmas post of my own

For sure, I might simply copy another
Bot then you might say: why even bother

Plus, that other person, they might be offended
And start to throw things
(like the apes from which we are descended)

And such a reaction, I truthfully fear it
Would not be at all in the holiday spirit

I’ll play Christmas music instead and start rocking
And look for a nice place to hang my stocking

When that is achieved there still is to do
A good many things with scissors and glue

Because all those presents do not wrap themselves
And I do not have a bunch of wrap-elves

There’s lights all unlit, a tree all unglittered
My halls are un-decked, things still unconsidered

Should I have some tea with the fruitcake, or nog?
Should I burn some incense – or even a log?

But if I lit a fire, the house would burn down
And it’s not a white Christmas when everything’s brown

I should call the fire department before
And offer them candy when they knock on the door

They could help me out with some foam, and some bubbles
I’ll pretend it is snow, thank them for their troubles

And when everything’s finally neat and all set
There still is the question: Was I good or bad?

Understand, there is still so much left to do
You see – I really don’t have time for you

So you won’t get a Christmas post, not this time
You won’t get a Christmas post – you’ll just get this rhyme

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